The Parasite

In Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Voice of Knowledge, he tells about a parasite that enters our body.  This parasite is the voice in our head and it WILL BE HEARD.  It shapes our belief system and programs us.  As we age, this parasite will start making most of our decisions, and we don’t even know it.  It does this by judging us and using guilt, as it continually reminds us of our past.  If we try doing things outside the norm, it will punish us with feelings of anxiety and inferiority.

 Now for the Kingfish Translation:

 You got this thing on your shoulder telling you LIES.

Making out your goals for the upcoming year will get the attention of your little parasite.  Just try to put something on your list that you’ve never done before and see how it goes:

You: I’m finally going to write that book this year. I’ll start January 1^st!

 Parasite: What?  Write a book?  You can’t write a book!   You don’t understand anything about grammar.

You: Yep, I’m writing that book, and nothing’s going to stop me!

 Parasite: Do you know how many people fail at writing books?  Books are old fashioned anyway.  You can’t sit still long enough.  You already tried twice, and you never got more than a few pages.  Forget it.

You: I know this will be tough; maybe I need to think about this.

 Parasite: Damn right it will be tough.  You don’t have the time, you don’t have the skills, and your story isn’t even interesting.

You: Maybe I should go away to do this.  I could never do it here.

 Parasite: You can’t do it anywhere!  Stick to what you know.

You: That’s what I’ll do.  In a few months, when I have the time, I’ll schedule some time away and get started.

 Parasite: That’s better, now let’s get a beer and watch some TV.  

I call my parasite “Paul” (my middle name).  Paul bitches at me all the time because I’m always starting new projects, which I know nothing about, and with that, comes many screw-ups.  Paul loves to remind me of my past failures in hopes I will stop all this crazy talk about new ideas.  However, I believe the more you fail, the more opportunities there are for a success.

So today Paul and I are fighting once again as I pick out my one big thing for 2011.   

(Oh, this is going to be fun!)

Yoga is hard but meditation is harder

Get the picture: I’ve got my stretchy little black pants on, no shoes, a shirt that hides my fat and a room full of ladies.  You can see the beach out the large open doors in this three-story health studio. “We are doing Spicy Yoga today”, she said, which is another way of saying,  "I’m about to kick your ass and make you look like a pretzel."

I always enjoy watching the elasticity of these women as I struggle to get my fingertips anywhere near my toes.  Clearly, some of these moves require a stretchiness not known by those of us with the Y-chromosome. 

About an hour later, dripping with sweat, arms shaking for reasons unknown, and somewhat dizzy from the lack of proper hydration, we get to rest.  A pleasant lavender aroma fills the room, as our instructor walks through this maze of lethargic, neatly arranged bodies on the floor.

A few minutes of relaxation and mediation are next on the agenda, which is why I created this drawing. I’m supposed to clear my mind, remove all thoughts, and be in the moment.

Really?

All I can think about is the woman, two over from me, that put her right foot behind her neck. And, the woman in front of me that bent backward so much, that her head was only a few inches from her heels.  I’m thinking about how much beer I need to buy today for our beach outing. I’m thinking about a payment I need to make so it won't be late. I’m thinking about a phone call I need to make tomorrow.  I’m thinking that there is way too much thinking going on, to do any meditating today.

Maybe next time.

If all men are created equal.....

The ego is a powerful drug.  It lies to us every day.  In our head, it works the magic: You can't compare, you can't keep up, you are inferior. So we compensate.

I got an idea, let's be ourselves and stop this madness.